Self Diet

Adulthood is hard for the soul. How's that for an emo one-liner to break my blogging silence? All the warnings since childhood about this stage never prepared me for this.

Make money. Pay bills. Exercise. Shower. Eat well. Keep in touch. Clean. Don't be late. The abscence of homework, papers, and finals make these tasks very easy to complete. But after that, we're left with an excess of time and an excess of money with no idea how to waste it.

Here's what happened to me. I became so worried about rent payments, college loans, furniture, retirement, vacation time, savings, 9 different bills, credit cards, and etc. that I focused all my attention on them. Pretty soon, I worked for me and only me. Everything else -- girlfriend, family, friends, and roommates were peripheral interruptions to my goal in life: satisfy myself, now or in the future. Easy to say -- a far departure from the idealistic visions of college students like myself.

Five months into it, nothing else can be so stale and unsatisfying.

I was becoming overweight on myself and I needed a diet. So thus began my search for something better -- a life worth living for. And if I am only living my life for myself, I feel sorry for myself.

But enough of that, pity never worked either.