Shut in, I shut down

Within the massive space that is the Ford Expedition, I sometimes feel as if I am lost in a world of buttons and wheels. I sometimes feel like there are so many things to play with in this car that I may never be bored. I sometimes feel unable and relectant to leave. But then there's sometimes when it's size seems miniscule to what I need. There are these moments where the sharp clicks of the automatic locks remind me of the prison I have forced myself to be entrapped in.

On my lazier days, walking from clairmont to anywhere on main campus is a drag, and I often plan my day's schedule around how little walking I can potentially do or not do. But when I am in an Expedition, I quickly begin to realize how small my campus is. I drive in circles till I am sick of the circle, so I go the other way in the same circle. I see the same international korean students and the same jappy girls with pants that I am thoroughly disgusted with and attracted to at the same time. When I am feeling mischievous, I plan my escort route so that they have to sit next to each other. The conversations are quite awkward, but I live off of those. Dooleys...Library....Clairmont Campus....DUC...Dorms...Parking Lots....that is my life over and over and over again. Some part of me wants to get out before it gets me.

I want to get away for all the wrong reasonos.