A Hoosiers Moment

Put on the orchestral music. Get me a bunch of sweaty, down-and-out, men in the room. Cue the slow clap. Cue the slow clap, goddammit.

Maybe we could blame it on Al Pacino's inspiring "inches speech" in Any Given Sunday or "the slow clap" in Not Another Teen Movie, but we long for those moments of eureka -- where one special word in an extended monologue changes the face of the game, the tune of the meeting, the meaning of life.

If you are the person delivering the speech, you have an attentive audience captivated by your every word. For once, your mundane experiences through your tenure finally has some worth. In that moment, you feel like God -- or at least a messenger of God. On the other hand, you can be in the audience, pretending to be captivated by this man or woman who is saying the same thing your gut has told you all along -- but heck, his resume says he's more important than you -- so listen up this time around.

I've been to internship seminars, megachurch conferences, guest speaker meetings, small fellowship retreats, and everything in between. These motivational speakers (they would hate to be seen as motivational) have ranged from my best friends to leaders of the free world, from celebrities to complete strangers. The bottom line is the same: They all tell me the same thing I was thinking anyway.

A week ago, the CNN interns were given the chance to hear American Morning co-achor Soledad O'Brien speak about her experiences in the work field. You could easily see in the eyes of the other interns how little they were actually asking questions to find the answers -- they merely asked a question to get her attention, so that by some long shot -- Soledad could offer them a job on the spot. Sure, why not?, they imagined her saying. But all she offered was a smile and a predictable response.

My beef really isn't with the speakers, the people who put on these speakers, or the people who spend money to see them. I've been in all three positions before -- in the past year in fact. But I've come to the point in my life where I've given up these motivational spots for us "young people." I'm done with people telling me and my colleagues how much potential we have, and if only we did steps 1,2, and 3, we would be where they are.

When I hear success stories, I rarely hear how this person or that changed the route of how they were shooting for success. They usually are shaped by the environment they grew up in and the hard work they apply to the passions they were given. So why don't they just cut the "give-me-the-glory" crap and just tell us that.

So if I were invited to be at one these things to tell the people of the future something, here is what I would say. And just in case a poor junior high school boy is reading this, read closely: Look, if you are not passionate about something, it does not matter how many advantages you get along the way. It does not matter how many self-help books you read or how many self-help speakers you pay to go hear. It does not matter that you are the best looking guy with the thickest wallet or the nicest guy with the most expensive clothes. You are not going to make it. But if you are passionate about something, nothing can stand in your way. In fact, you are wasting your own time listening to me. Nike said it best: Go out there and do it. I'll see you on the other side as we leave the others in the dust.

Too freaking long. By the end, I sound like every other speaker I was making fun of.

Take 2: Do it.