Patriot Games

I am not a patriot by any means. The only reason my family put up a flag after 911 was because we didn't want to be seen as un-American and therefore, terrorists. I am so unAmerican, I decided to take American studies to reconfirm in me how much America sucks. But after hearing this story , the little red white and blue in me rose up like morning wood to take the stand. In one of many cases, a middle school in Colorodo has disallowed all patriotic clothing, including camouflage pants. More stories like this, and I might just becoming a flag-waving, wall-building American myself, just to be different and rebellious. Soon, I might join Foxworthy for a Blue Collar Comedy Tour and do bad Asian redneck jokes. I tried doing some.

If you've taken a six pack of beer with a serving of dumplings to a funeral, you might be an Asian redneck.
If you think fast food is killing a dog on the sidewalk and eating it, you might be an Asian redneck.

And that's why I'm a journalist, and not a comedian.